Happy vs. Happy enough

so there is a difference between being happy and being happy enough. especially in a relationship. many of us stay because we're satisfied with settling . you should thrive and be better not just ok in a relationship. i know so many people who stay with someone just to maintain status quo or just to say that they have a significant other. this eventually will lead to you resenting them and being mad at yourself for allowing yourself to not find true happiness. never be afraid to be with the person who truly makes you happy if youre gay be gay its no one elses business but your own. dont try to hide it and create this facade of being straight. i tried that and i was miserable, shout out to all my ex boyfriends dont take it personal i just couldnt get past your biggest flaw.....your penis. the world is so intolerant but who cares you are responsible for your own happiness. when you hide who you are it creates even bigger problems (how you doin bishop eddie long). that counts for anything. dont be afraid to date someone who isnt considered "fly" or "cool" because your friends dont agree with it. at the end of the day when they are lonely as shit because they wanted someone who fit a certain image and you are happy as hell with the person who you love even if they dont fit some stupid ass image you will have the last laugh.

when i was in high school i was in an abusive relationship because i thought the person loved me. i couldnt tell anyone what was really going on because i was ashamed that someone like me who is so outspoken and tough let someone treat me like shit. i got some hits in too but  at the end of the day it just wasnt a healthy situation at all.  to this day i still dont know why i allowed myself to stay. several bruised ribs, black eyes, and busted lips later i woke up one day and said enough is enough. i was lucky enough that nothing too serious ever happened to me. there are so many women who dont make it out alive. if you or one of your friends is being hurt physically by their significant other you have to help. usually they will not want you to because some relationships are like having stockholm syndrome- you develop sympathy and a connection with your kidnapper. they usually will not leave on their own but the most you can do is offer support. if they are in a seriously dangerous situation it is better to report the person. your friend may never talk to you again and they may go back to their s/o but at least you did something.

abuse isnt just physical. it can be emotional or sexual as well. just because youre in a relationship doesnt mean you dont have the right to say no to sex. also never let someone talk to you any kind of way. people are insecure in themselves often will try to talk negatively to their boyfriend or girlfriend in the hopes that they can break down their self esteem and make them feel that they must remain with that persons because no one else will want them. this is a common tactic that many dont recognize which makes it very efffective.

abuse isnt just a man hitting a woman. women also abuse men physically and emotionally. many men are too embarrassed to admit their girlfriend hits them and will never tell anyone. now as a gentleman you dont want to hit her back which is good (honestly my opinion is if that bitch is bold enough to swing knock her ass the fuck out but two wrongs dont make a right and you will go to jail because trust and believe from personal experience the police always believe the woman over the man in a domestic disturbance situation.) dont be afraid to leave. you can go to the police just like a woman and file an order of protection that will prevent her ffrom coming near you. there are some truly crazy women in this world (see: thin line between love and hate, fatal attraction, obsession) and sometimes  you need someone else to intervene. you will be more of a man if you walk away or get help than you would be if you allow her disrespect you.

follow your own path to happiness. fuck the rest of the world because at the end of the day we are born alone and die alone. you walk this journey with no one but God and trust me he created you so he is fine with your decisions (unless you like little kids). no one can dictate what should and should not be for you. if you feel like the people around you are not supportive leave them because if they truly care about you they will support you regardless. i lost some friends because of who i truly am and you know what fuck em because the ones that stayed are the most true people i could have ever hoped to meet. stay in your lane you will be so much more satisfied.

Precious take yo ass down to the welfare

This is how i feel some days, well most days about school. after three years of college i often wonder what the hell was the point of all this? just to say i have a degree? to get a job? considering the fact i hate my major i will probably never use my degree. life must be so easy for loser since no one expects them to do anything with their life. i look at some people who i know and see they have no ambition what so all in life and that motivates me when i dont wanna go to class or do homework. yea i could become a total bird and have a baby by some random nigga and do nothing for the rest of my life. i would probably have more money than i do now and less debt, but what kind of existence is that?

shoutout to all my hopelessly lost seniors in a few short months we will be pushed out into the world to make our way. be it grad school or an entry level position make it work. find something that makes you truly happy and you will never feel like you are working. dont be afraid to take any chances. ive spent the past 3 years studying business and guess what....i wanna be a preschool teacher. and a makeup artist and a private investigator. life is too short to spend it doing something you hate

carpe diem

Advice Hour

Anyone who knows me knows i give the best advice! So if youre having any kinds of problems im here to help!  Email your desperately lost situations to crackcakequestions@gmail.com

Big girls tips

the weather is getting a little cooler and school is in full swing. those are all sure signs that fall is coming. the summer is never especially kind to big girls but our season is coming up. the fall and winter months are a big girls best friend. most clothing is needed, no more sweat rolling down the back of your neck, and several holidays that involve good food. as the self appointed president of the National Association for the Advancement of Fat People (NAAFP) i believe that it is important for us ladies to promote a positive image of larger sized women, the average american woman wears a size 14 so slowly the world is getting bigger and bigger. while their is still a lot of weight discrimation (turnstyles for example) in the world things are certainly changing. more and more stores are offering plus sizes. i have a nice shape, theres just more to it so i refuse to cover myself in shapeless dresses and elastic pants. but there is a fine line between being a cute big girl and a fucking fat mess.

just because it comes in your size doesnt mean you should wear it. adult rompers for one. if u have extra bumps a full body sock is only going to accentuate these areas. sometimes a belt can help to break up the monotony and keep you from looking one huge blob.also a solid color works better lest you look like a clown. id never wear one though it just reminds me of being a little kid and wearing shit that snaps between the legs

patterns and prints are cool but not on large spaces. tiger prints on big thighs just look bad. a splash here and there to make a big titty stand out is cute but dont dare take yo ass out in head to toe animal print. i bought a floral dress and was scared i would look like the lincoln park conservatory but i matched it with a solid cardigan and it actually worked.

cardigans are my all time favorite item. they work  year round and help to hide the chicken wing flap flap arms.

spanx are our best friend and many of you dont even realize it. you can wear them with pants, shorts, dresses, skirts you name it. i own like fifty million pair because nothing is worse than having a really cute outfit but ruining it with giggle and rolls. they dont hide everything but dammit they do enough. the only problem though is wearing them on dates. if you feel like youre gonna get lucky that night you especially wanna wear them but then comes the trick of what to do when hes trying to get you naked. many men dont understand the concept of wearing a stocking that goes up to your chest and they sometimes are startled or confused. even some of the girls i date are like umm ma'am why are you wrapped like a mummy? you have two options in this situation: A) go to the bathroom and take them off and like shove them under the sink or B) give him some head if you do that he really wont give a fuck what youre wearing. either way spanx higher power panties are the shit and the urine $20 at your local lane bryant, macys,  torrid, ashley stewart etc.

mini travel deordorants are also key. stock up at walmart or target on travel sized ones and keep them in your purse. there is a such thing as fat girl smell and many of you dont realize you have it. its still hot outside and we sweat more than most so to keep yourself from smelling like cabbage shower daily and lift up those rolls because sweat gets in there too. and keep a mini stick of secret for touchups throughout the day, trust me its worth it.

leggings are tricky. i love them but you can def see cellulite in them. i wear spanx with mine so that there is minimal jiggle and no panty lines. nothing worst than making youu booty clap on accident while just trying to walk down the street. and if you have those cellulite dimples that are so deep that you can eat soup out of them just take the L and dont wear them at all.

heels are my friend because im short but you have to get the right ones stillettos are cute but if they are leaning when you walk dont wear them get a thicker heel that will give you better support. its sexy to see a big booty shifting in some heels but not if that thing cracks.

i dont wear shorts but if you do length is important and high waisted is tricky. if you have that lower pouch it is only accentuated so always try before you buy.

long cardigans make a big butt even bigger go short and show off that judy. but if you have a flatty a longer one can create an illusion esp when you walk

dont eat salad in public you know youre hungry and by looking at you everyone knows your ass aint a regular salad eater. if youre on a date he already knows youre thicker than a whole pack of snickers and if he asked you out that means he doesnt mind. just order the fish its healthy and more filling.

dont stuff your face in public keep it cute you can still smash that cheesesteak and look cute doing it

dont wear sweatpants in public it just says to the world idgaf i sit around all day eating oreos. plus they make your ass look really bad.

most of all be confident! take that size 18 ass and strut down the street like you fucking own it! winter is coming and niggas need someone who is going to make them a big pot of chilli and cornbread and then keep them warm in the bed cuz heating bills are too fucking high. dont let anyone itimidate you. i love my skinny friends to death and they arent evil but theres something about a fly ass big girl that stands out