real nigga personal ads

hey ladies im basically the perfect man for you. ill text you on and off throughout the week to gauge what the best time to talk to you is. eventually you'll give into my charm and wit and give up dem pannies late one night. after that the texts and calls will start to decrease and you will notice an increase of random bitches writing on my facebook wall. but maybe two weeks later ill draw you in with some touching and sweet good morning text that makes you think ive decided to leave all these hoes alone and be with only you. we'll continue a string of late night rendez vous but ill never really make anything official. but my personality and dick dealing game is so skrong that you will throw your pride to the side just to spend time with me. just know that after i tear that ass up i expect tacos and you are expected to swallow every time. don't waste this good niggade. eventually you'll tell me that you think you're pregnant and ill leave $350 in an unmarked envelope in your mailbox. you can either get the situation "taken care of" or you can buy diapers. either way that's all you're getting from me. i will eventually start hitting on your friends and relatives and only call you if i can till hit that as from time to time. if not adios bitch.

so ladies what do you say? which one of yall....yuuuuupp *smolder face*

observations on the lion king

you ever notice mufasa was the only male lion except for scar but there were hella lioness? he got a main bitch and a mistress.

like sarabi was his queen but you know he had to be knocking down all the other lioness' in the kingdom. there were all the cubs came from

so more than likely nala and simba were half brother and sister or like cousins or some shit

what was rafiki smoking and where can i get it because that nigga was high as all fucks

i bet when scar was taking over they wished mufasa hadnt banished all the other male lions from pride rock so he could have the lion pussy

scar was a pussy ass fuck boy for setting his peoples up (dont you love my street venacular? urban dictionary is real)

simba really shows what happens when young men dont have a father. like mufasa was a ho but without him simba fell in with the wrong crowd. who wants their child to be running around the jungle with a crackhead pig and rat? mufasa could've prevented that

nala was a ho. you dont see simba for 10 years but as soon as you see him randomly in the jungle one day you bust it open for him? i guess thats what happens when your mother is a lioness concubine you never really learn how to love.

i love the scene when sarabi is walking past the hyenas like "walk through the club fuck everybody"

simbas hair was pantene luxurious

overall this is one of the greatest movies ever made

10 sugar daddy commandments

One two three four five six seven eight nine"

Uhh, it's the ten trick commandments
What, uhh, uhh
Nigga can't tell me nothin bout this rent, uh-huh
Can't tell me nothin bout this phone bill, this tuition
To my hustlin niggasNiggas in nordstrom I ain't forget you niggasMy bill payin niggas, word up  "One two three four five six seven eight nine"
"TEN"  I been broke for years, it made me a animal
It's rules to this shit, I wrote me a manual
A step by step booklet for you to get
your young girl caught up, not your credit score pushed back
Rule nombre uno: never let no one know
how much, dough you hold, cause you know
The cheddar brings mad thirsties 'specially
if that man fine as fuck, get your benz scratched up
Number two: never let em know your next move
Don't you know mad girls move in silence or violence
Take it from your highness (uh-huh)
sittin at your table drinkin mad cups server gets no tips
Number three: never trust no-bo-dy
Your wife'll set that ass up, properly gassed up
who you buyin bags for, kids need new toy trucks
she be layin in the bushes to light that ass up
Number four: know you heard this before
Never go out with your jump in daylight
Number five: never pull a girl from by where you rest at
I don't care if they want a ounce, tell em bounce
Number six: that god damn credit, dead it
You think equifax care about that bitch, shit forget it
Seven: this rule is so underrated
Keep your family and hoescompletely seperated
side chicks and blood don't mix like two dicks and no bitch
Find yourself in serious shit
Number eight: always keep cash on you
your wife'll find that paper trail and leave you
Number nine shoulda been number one to me
If you ain't gettin dough stay the fuck from howard homecoming
If girls think you broke they ain't tryin listen
They be sittin in your honda, waitin to start hittin
Number ten: a strong word called consignment
Strictly for live men, not for freshmen
If you ain't got the income say hell no
Cause sugar babies gon want they money rain sleet hail snow
Follow these rules you'll have mad hoes to cake up
If shes not, twenty-one years, pass that pussy up
underage will have chris hansen at your table, watch your bank account get drained up
booty warrior did your makeup, when you in lockup
Your girl fucked my man Jake up, heard in three weeks
she spent 6 paychecks up
Heard she suck a good dick, and can hook a steak up
Gotta go gotta go, more pasta bake up, word up, uhh

Marvins Food

cups of that kool aid
deliveries in my old phone
i been on this diet too long
the chicken that i would try
goes straight to my thighs
but ive been eating so much that  ima call papa johns and say
fuck that cupcake that you gave to me
i still remember the frosting that you had
i said fuck that salad that you ate just now
and since you had that i know your stomach growled
ooh im just saying you could taste better
all you need is salt and pepper

my mixtape Flamin Hots & Mystics drops October 15th

got these black bitches mad cuz my main bitch vanilla

once again the title is misleading and simply guided by what im listening to.....so anywho

the best thing you can have on your side is a strong team. be it family, friends, business partners, who you surround yourself with is who you are and have an impact on your success. one of the keys to success is having a support system that has you best interest at heart.

kim kardashian is the perfect example of this. she gave the driest, laziest, most handsy blowjob in the history of sex. with her mothers business acumen and proactive sometimes overly aggressive nature, she was able to turn that into an opportunity  for not only kim, but the whole family. she said hey america let me show you what kind of household raises a girl who thinks its acceptable to give such lackluster awesome jawsome on camera. this is how we ended up with keeping up with the kardashians. now you cant turn on the tv, pick up a magazine, or go on the internet without seeing at least one member of the kardashian clan or someone who is affiliated with them. everyone in the family has their own show in addition to several products and endorsements.

by no means am i saying release a sextape. i feel that you need to keep a group around you who can support you and your dreams. also use your talents to develop your brand. you are your own company. be it singing, making jewelery, cracking watermelons with your thighs you can create a career from your passion. you're going to be working for the rest of your life so it might as well be doing something you enjoy.

this is where your team comes in. dont give away your dreams to everyone, but you are going to need help. here we are with these expensive degrees we sweat blood and tears for so lets put them to use. i can name off top right now an accountant, PR, marketing, graphic designer for any business venture i could come up with. what is having bum ass friends bringing to your life? NOT A GOTDAMN THING! show me who your friends are and ill show you who you are.

upgrade your team and utilize your resources

friday fuckery things that are killing me softly

 

 

the hunt for red october

whats it like to have a period?

everything hurts. cramps in your abdomen. your back aches. in my case my thighs even cramp up. standing is uncomfortable. laying down is uncomfortable your body constantly feels like a bed of needles. even your boobs feel swollen and tender.

you hate everything and everyone. idk where they found these commercials with fluffy bunnies and running through fields. i don't wanna do that shit.i wanna eat chocolate lovers donuts and watch iCarly. everything gets under your skin at least for the first few days.

the horniest you will ever be in life. your hormones are raging so you want sex all the time, but of course you have a raw steak between your thighs and even dogs like their meat cooked. loneliness sets into your vagina....unless you're dating someone who is about that crime scene life.

you sneeze you gush blood. you cough you gush blood. you stand up you gush blood. you laugh you gush blood. all the rivers in egypt turned to blood. this is actually what moses was referring to.

you have the options of either wearing a diaper or a finger of your cooch. comfortable? not at all.

bloating and feeling like the biggest whale at sea world. water retention is real and your clothes feel tight and uncomfortable.

diarrhea occurs in many women. thats never fun especially not when you combine it with the other symptoms


emotions get all involved and you can cry at the drop of a hat

as bad as all this is you pray for it to come every month because if not that usually means you're knocked up or have some crazy ass disease. you cant tell me women aren't the strongest creatures on earth

let that man cook

don't worry this post isn't about my love of lil b. the tacos i just made were something like orgasmic and it got me to thinking about my grandmother always said " never feed a man who don't want to leave" and after this meal i understand why. i almost wanna buy myself a speedy bag and some dior pumps and smack my own ass.

food and home cooking comes from the heart. this is something you put time, energy, and thought into. the level of the dish also indicates your dedication and feelings to this person. spaghetti says thanks for the head but im not ready to commit to you. its way too simple. spaghetti doesn't say devotion. tacos say a little bit more depending on how you do them. if you just pour some meat in a shell you are admitting that either you don't care or you cant cook. you devalue yourself with these fuckass 30 minute meals. break out a cookbook and sweat your edges.

ive told girls that i only had a passing interest in that i didn't cook, but ive made steaks and salmon for girls that i had a true devotion to. baked goods are a totally different level of emotion because they required a higher focus. cooking and baking are two different things. baking is like chemistry. everything has to be exact. cooking is trial and error you don't need measurements.i made this one guy some double chocolate chunk monster cookies and lets just say the payoff was worth it ;)

im not old fashioned or traditional at all and if you never lift a finger in the kitchen go right ahead. but i come from a family where food is love check my waistline. i only allow those who i want to see the goodness i produce and come back for more to taste my treats. ive had someone who hated to cook make me dinner and it was special because i knew she was suffering in that kitchen and that food was the turriblest but i appreciated the effort. its more personal than buying something because there was dedication in that action.

if you love somone feed them!

so hard to say goodbye

so ive seen harry potter and the deathly hallows pt 2 twice already and all i can say is

i feel like my childhood is officially over. Ive been reading harry potter since i was 8 years old. i remember when my mom brought the book home for me and i was automatically hooked. hogwarts was full of adventure and harry was the epitome of bravery and excitement. i got every book at midnight and was beyond jukin for Judea  when they said they were making them into movies. each book was better than the one before and his story got more complex and dangerous.

when dumbledore died i was so hurt. when dobby died though i almost had to take a tranquilizer i was so torn up. that elf was clutch and was proud to be a free elf. idk between mufasa and dobby who was worse. those are major losses in my childhood from which i shall never fully recover. when snapes story was revealed that he was following the dark lord but gave up evil for his love of lilly potter chile.....better than any disney love story.

dumbledore not being as good as he was believed to be and actually being responsible for the death of his sister.....i feel this was a necessary evil in the plot line. he lost something important to him and realized power wasnt everything. these books have so much depth and so many dimensions. you have to really read them to gain the full story.

jk rowling should have made this series a lot longer. idk what to do now. voldemort is gone so she cant continue that but i need SOMETHING! im sitting here reading order of the phoenix ( which by the way was the worst movie considering how amazaballs the book was) i feel like an abandoned child..im saving these books for my children so that they can experience the greatness. when the time is right im going to sit them down and open this magical world to them.

this video sums it all up perfectly

WE WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU HARRY!!!

classic

 Free's ass >>>>>

its been heavy on my mind

we all have our crosses to bear. we frequently deal with situations that we struggle with and no one really understands because you cant speak on all of your issues with everyone. sometimes when these things start to affect your life and are noticed by other closest to you. this is why i dont understand why some guys are still walking around with uncut dicks!

this is a problem that can be easily solved. i thought it was a collective village decision that much like lacefronts and du rags with capes, walking around with the turtleneck dick is unfuckingacceptable in 2011. your weenis should not look like the first two episodes of arthur when he still had the long ass aardvark nose. no one is trying to go in your hidey hole and find your peek a boo paynis just to get the job done. we are grown hide and seek is so 15 years ago.

just go get snipped and blame your lazy ass mother for not doing it when you popped outta her cooch. your pussy stock will skyrocket because right now you are screaming infection by having egg roll dick. who knows what lies under that skin

im a fucking fool but this is out of hand.

gardening

its summertime and shorts are getting shorter and the swimsuits are coming out so i am begging you trim the hedges! recently a friend was changing in front of me and her nether regions looked like damian marley. now i understand that not everyone is a fan of being bald and beautiful, but growing a sunni on your vag is never the move.

there are several different styles and methods of vag hair removal. you can trim back the hedges with a regular bikini wax or shaving. this cleans up the situation a bit and is pretty painless. the best part is that you can get designs and junk like that. its quite nice. i dont mind a girl with an uptown fade on her cooch. at least she did some maintenance. remember no one will come over your house if they cant find it. i dont like hair in my food, but its better than these rainforest that some of you are growing.

now the greatest gift to earth is the Brazilian wax.your pussy will be rollling on dubs when you have that extra smooth hairless cat thing going on. you might even want to touch yourself it feels so good. they go in and remove everything. it hurts a bit more because there is more area to cover and they are pulling from the follicle. there has been some debate about how sanitary some places are and if this is safe for your vagina. whats not safe is going down on someone and damn near choking to death on a stray pubic hair. research your shops first. make sure the waxing station is clean and that they are using new strips, sticks, and towels before they wax you. Knong at Bang on U st has my vag looking like dulce de leche cupcakes every two weeks. in chicago i go to Diana's.

research and make your decision based on what is most comfortable for you, but i am begging you stop this natural madness. as a purveyor of the poon i can tell you from a male perspective no one wants rick ross' beard rubbing tickling their nose when they're trying to dine on southern cuisine. even is you arent having sex you might end up at the beach. you might even pee better idk just do SOMETHING!!!!

methaphors and shit

you know how when you have a pack of gum that hasn't been opened yet and you're really excited because this gum is great. you just wanna enjoy your it for as long as possible. for some reason there's always that one person that ask for a piece. so trying to be nice you let them have one little piece. you don't plan on giving anyone else any because this is YOUR gum. this is never the case. once you give out one piece everyone suddenly wants some. having gum is never a secret. you wanted to keep your gum for yourself, but once the pack is opened its lost its freshness. you can try to lie and hide it as much as possible, but people always want gum. there are some you share your gum with willingly because you want to and others who you deny because you don't want to give it away. one day you look up and all your gum is gone. you have to think who did i give all my gum away to because i didn't chew it all by myself. you can get a new pack of gum, but you will always think of all the times you have given gum away before and wonder no matter how hard you try will you give away all you gum again? you don't wanna hold onto it because then it will get all stale and useless, but you need to be selective when giving away your delicious gum. unless you wanna regret it and have to try and start over with a fresh pack.

my guilty pleasure...

is new orleans bounce music. when im alone i turn it up and act like im from the calliope project. its a work out and makes you forget about all your problems.
#nowtwerkingforjesus to "where the melph at"- katey redd

easy like sunday morning

so my mom left for church and that leaves me here at home alone drinking my ignorantly  large cup of coffee and blasting the #twerktape...like this is the shit ive been trying to watch Takers for like an hour, but i cant turn this off go download it chubb e swagg snapped. anyway this has given me some time to reflect......

-periods are so unnecessary. i dont plan on getting pregnant anytime soon so i need not ovulate. i wish there was a way to stop this shit until im ready to have a baby....ooer i found these cup things that allow you to have sex on your period if anyone cares. no blood involved

-i worked 4x the hours this week that i was supposed to because one of the other teachers was sick. im exfuckinghausted but my paycheck is about to be sexy as fuck. i might cash it instead of direct deposit just so i can rub all those hundred dollar bills all over my naked body

-its a midget in my neighborhood.i want to move

-i hate when i buy a bag of air and there's chips at the bottom

-when i get rich im gonna hire paula deen as my personal chef and everything is gonna be coated in butter and bacon

-men say women are desperate but this year i have witnessed some of the thirstiest shit imaginable from the male species. like i guess vagina juice is stronger than we know

my girlfriend

in my mind esther baxter is wifey but lauren london is my loving side chick

dont laugh at me

so i have sometime before i go to work today so i was perusing my usual blog sites and they featured a lot of pics from the hot 97 summer jam. this was one of the times that i wished i lived on the east coast because some of my faves were there. anyway this lead me to the question who would i rather sleep with Rick Ross or Chris Brown? stop giving me that crazy side eye! i know you prob think is a no brainer but hear me out.


ok so yes they are complete and utter opposites, but they both hold qualities that i think would make them good lovers.

1. facial hair- in my opinion a man should have facial hair. chris is seriously lacking in this department
winner: ross

2. performance- no one like a lazy lover. chris has proven that he will dance in the pussy and he claims he invented head. you cant ignore these facts.especially when you know how i feel about the introduction. ross seems like he might be kinda lazy and expect the woman to do all the work. he has never come across as a master of seduction.
winner: breezy

3.body- i love tattoos and this is a non negotiable for me. if you take off your shirt and the skin is bare im getting up and putting my clothes on. neither have back and chest hair so im really stuck here because im disgusted by body hair like absolutely icksville.since ive slept with guys with muscles and fat guys and both were great so i really don't know. and ive seen breezys dick, but not rozays and it was extra lackluster, but hes quite fit.
winner: tie

4. music- i LIVE for rick ross records, but im only a chris brown fan in passing
winner:rozay

5.sounds- the sounds made during coitus are so important to me and i feel like ross would be going ungh the whole time and i would be laughing and chris' voice is so sweet and melodic and would whisper like sexy shit to me
winner: breezy

6. financials- ross said it best "money make me cum" i already blogged about community service pussy and while both are pretty well off ross is more flashy and i like stuff like that. i love how his chains glisten between his man boobage. he admits that he treats women and i would like to be wined and dined and possibly shop before i have my box demolished. breezy is not lacking in funds but i feel like hes not going to pay for the tracks he pulled out when he was playing in your hair
winner: ross

7. pillow talk- i like my sandwich and sleep after sex but sometimes niggas wanna talk and shit so you have to suffer through that. i feel like chris would be a lot more interesting to talk to and more lucid. ross would just spark up and then go to sleep.
winner: breezy

8.smell- chris smells light skin. ross smells like  money, fried chicken, and kush
winner: rozay

9.the crew- you may have to be around his friends at some point. chris hangs out with them cat daddy niggas. ricky hangs out with my son's father wale....
winner- ross the boss

10. respect- i feel like chris might bring you breakfast the next morning. ricky might just hand you a stack and say get out. im still a lady despite what i did the night before and would like to be treated as such. just dont hit me chris....but i do like that rough shit
winner: mechanical dummy

well im guessing the winner is rick ross.....as long as he keeps the shades on

let me remember im a christian

people think women are confused, but no its men. you want girls who look like the unattainable girls in the magazines and videos but i just saw some shit that brought my blood pressure to a 200/127. this man said he is sick of girls having too much ass. what the hell is "too much ass" there is no such thing. ass is one of the greatest things that God created and for you to say that chile..... *flips hair and rolls eyes*

i like girls who you hit one ass cheek and then you gotta run around the block to hit the other one

i like girls who if you hit it from the back you gotta use google earth to find the pussy

i like girls whose ass could cause haitian earthquake damage when they move one ass cheek against the ground

by saying a girl has too much ass you are admitting that you don't have enough dick

ive been craving chinese food all day

stay in your lane! if you have little girly hands and cant properly palm the ass like a spalding move on down the block to that kelly rowland built bitch and leave us "built ford tough" chicks alone. women are packed like tanks for a reason and if it is not your ministry to put a girl in a sleeper hold and beat it out the frame please move your punk ass on

MESSAGE!

(sorry but im going through my raunchy phase right now. too much graduation partying)

random thoughts part 5465743

1. it is possible to beat it out the frame

2. i wish i had an explanation for half the shit i do, like seriously my life is one big experiment. i do stuff just for the hell of it

3.i was seduced with cranberry tea and marijuana. im not even mad though because i do enjoy both of those things

4. i hate being asked "do you like me?" bitch if you have to ask.....

5. see below

6. stay in your lane! date who fits in your box (no pun intended)

not as many crazy thoughts today. well there are but they are mad personal like how am i gonna break up with my girlfriend. suggestions?

Bro Franklin (Offering Time)

you better werk!

today's sermon-febreezed thoughts

im rev ash of the st matthew greater temple founded on a rock missionary baptist church of god in christ. today's sermon is entitled Don't hide that pussy, divide that pussy. summer is coming and it is one of the greatest and most dangerous times of the year. everyone is out every night, half naked and intoxicated. relationships are tested and so are our loins. we go out with the intentions of getting twisted and sinning something terrible. what i want you to do is enjoy your summer. my flock needs to know commitment under 25 is a no go. at this point we don't need to be worried about settling down. we are too young for that and have greater worries such as school and deciding what we want to do with our lives than trying to be someones wife. if he is trying to be more than a friend with benefits we say "get thee behind me satan....and tap this ass" i don't have time to be a wife but i do have time for some afternoon delight.

touch your neighbor and say neighbor "fuck, suck, or buck" go out on casual dates as many as possible and just enjoy the spoils of life. stop stressing about finding Mr. right and enjoy Mr. right now. you have years to find someone to spend the rest of your life yet and at 21 or 22 years old you haven't done anything! there is still so much to experience. give people a chance because you never know what they might bring into your life.

be happy, have fun, don't dwell on whats not happening and enjoy the garden variety that is available to you. keep that tang game proper. weeeeeellllllll

if you read this bring me a honey bun *tee hee hee* ooooo or some hot pockets

bitch just be happy!

more and more i am noticing a trend among women. too many women don't know how to just be happy especially when it comes to relationships. they are so emotionally damaged that they cant believe when they have a decent thing going for them. they constantly search for something to be wrong in the relationship or harp on what has happened to them in the past and generalize the actions of one particular group. if you find yourself thinking well this has happened before its gonna happen again then guess what.....im talking to you

 your current is not your ex. stop thinking that just because something happened in the past its going to happen again.yes it is very possible, but when you create drama out of nothing just from fear or because you're so broken that you cant take your partner for what they are at that time then you need not be in a relationship with them. you never know what a person is capable of until they do it, but when you project your insecurities from your past into your present relationship you stunt the growth of what could potentially be. if you find that you are encountering failed relationship after failed relationship you need to accept the fact that it might be you. we attract certain people into our lives and if you are constantly getting the same outcomes you need to evaluate yourself and what you are putting into a relationship. are you deserving of a prince charming when on the inside you're still an evil stepsister. you will attract what you deserve when you cultivate those qualities in yourself.

when you constantly being up what has happened in your past and what your ex did to you, you are projecting your issues onto your current relationship. if you are afraid to even enter a relationship because what has happened before you will always be stuck in the same place. if your man has not wronged stop waiting on him to! true no relationship is perfect, but not everyone is getting shot straight to hell. when you go in thinking well "i know this nigga is gonna cheat on me" you are already setting the stage for that to happen. they may have no ill intention, but thoughts have power good or bad. im not saying you made him cheat, but you get what outcomes you create.

letting go is hard to do and it is completely necessary. keep ya heart three stacks and always protect yourself, but under no circumstances should you keep yourself guarded. no one wants to get hurt, but its apart of love and relationships. if you constantly keep this fence around your heart you are going to end up with the same results. eventually you will end up old and alone lmao ok not really, but you get what im saying. man number 1 is not man number or 3 or 4. everyone is different. this came from the issues in my own relationship because i dont understand why women cant accept that being in a relationship with me is VERY different from anyone else.

the moral of the story is bitch just be happy! if things are going great right now stop waiting for the other shoe to drop and enjoy what you have now. something could happen or things could be peachy keen forever either way now is now and that needs to be your primary focus.

birthday makeup

i was completely in love with the makeup i did for my birthday.it lasted all day and night...and into the next day lol #wooswag

my new idol

yaaaaaassss hunty. thanks to britt for the vid

daily dose of ignorance

self explanatory

10 commandments

.......of getting some booty in my house. so once again im back keeping it a little too real for you all. this past week has helped me to discover that not everyone understands the rules of being an overnight guest in someones house. take these under consideration before you think about scamming on tang in my quarters

1. if you sit you ass on my pillow i will smother you with it....why in the hell would i want to put my face where your ass has been? sit in a chair or on the comforter

2. soap is not too expensive for me to buy but it cost too much for me to share. if i let you take a shower in my bathroom dont you dare touch my dove! bring your own or take wait until you get home

3. socks are a complete necessity at all times. idgaf of you get a pedicure everyday I DON'T LIKE FEET! so put on your socks or there's the door

4. no i cant get you anything to eat. should have thought about that before you came

5. i sleep on the outside. i made the exception one time and slept against the wall and it did not turn out well.

6. no you cant ask who im texting and you cant see my phone. i dont even let my girlfriend see my phone so your extra random ass certainly cannot

7. if i get up to leave that means you get up to leave. no you cant stay while i go about my day. honestly you need not there after we're done

8. no means no. if i dont like something i will say so if you dont stop you will get falcon punched in the chest. second time you do it you get kicked out

9. dont kiss me in the mouth. i dont like kissing anyway and if we arent together i really dont want to be kissed. i do it with certain people out of obligation but like in pretty woman it is far too intimate. dont cuddle me either i get hot. thats strictly for my boo

10. leonard washington dont get butt naked for nobody

lmao have a great day loves!

Chris vs. Trey

so the debate is always coming up who is better Chris Brown or Trey Songz. i guess its because they are the most "popular" pop/r&b singers relevant right now. honestly i pick neither because my personal preference is 90s r&b. i still listen to jodeci, new edition, public announcement, anita baker yea junk like that. if i had to make a choice though i would pick trey songz....and here's why

trey cannot sing, his bravado sounds like a cow having a stroke. i choose him because i like his material better. his production and writers just get to me. like Anticipation even though it was a mixtape goes hard for me no matter how many times i listen to it.  he doesn't dance and i wouldn't pay to see him live, but when it comes down to sitting down and listening to an album i pick him even though his last album was very rushed and was not his best i still liked more of it than i have any of chris' past albums or mixtapes. the best part of his performances is his smolder and penis bulge.

if we were to say who is the better vocalist and overall performer Chris has it hands down. this little nigga dances no matter what song he is performing and has a broader range. he gives full life during every show. i don't care about his personal indiscretions because well that's his business and has nothing to do with me. at the end of the day though i just don't like his songs. even the ones that have everyone slain in the moist panty spirit i was indifferent to. but i will admit he is a great artist. he can do pop, he can do ballads, he can rap Chris is extremely talented and if he would stop acting like a monkey doodle fool he would have the game on complete lock.....stop trying to act though...its not in God's plan for you. he just doesn't put the honey in my tea the way trey does with his material. he doesnt need me though #teambreezy is 37597289595 members skrong and they would prob beat my ass for the fact that i lurve trey to the pieces of his uber tight pants.

quiet as its kept the dream has some of the most solid albums out but because he has no sex appeal whatsoever and cant perform live to save libya he is often overlooked but i digress

one missed call

so i just lost my phone somewhere in my bed but anyway....i don't really like talking on the phone with the exception of a few people. if its not a pressing issue i need you to text or bbm me. there are some people who despite the fact its 2011 they don't like to text. -________- first of all if you spent all that money on a smart phone with a qwerty keyboard here's a novel idea......use the bitch!! unless its like a long story that needs like serious analysis or you want me to hear the tone of your voice then why oh why are you calling me especially before 9 pm? the worst is when its someone who calls you even when its free and its still a waste of your free minutes! unless i fuck with you like that or you have verizon do not under any circumstances call me with some "hey what are you doing?" umm what im doing is hanging up on your ass

there is also that situation where someone does not understand that you just don't want to talk to them. they constantly call and text you knowing they have absolutely nothing to talk about but they  insist on violating your phone. you ignore them, you curse them out, you block them and then they call you from another number. no matter what you do they feel the need to try every means of getting in contact with you. at that point i start to question their sanity and possible mental capacity. thank you based god for the ability to block calls. i just want to know what makes a person think that if they stalk you enough you will change your mind. if 27 missed calls later and 42 texts i still havent answered your same "what you doing" message.....bish 'you're bugging me and cant you see it ain't cool' -Beysus

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! my nails this week!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ps that's lace not shatter polish

make it sweat trick make it sweat trick

this topic was inspired by my good friend Halona and her experience with a very sweaty very black man who i saw looking like an oil spill today.

ok so one thing i absolutely hate is sweat. as the weather begins to warm up the sun beats down upon us causing rolling beads of the perspiration to roll down the backs of necks, foreheads, and a variety of  other places. i have the most overactive sweat glands in the world and go through extreme measures to keep me from looking like i just came out of the pool.

i cant stand when girls put baby powder between their tittymeats and look like they let tyrone biggums kiss in-between there. this is never attractive. like who thought it was cute to look like you let a crunchy ghost nut on your chest? ill let you in on my secret...i rub deodorant between mine and underneath each boobie. you ever see a girl ( or guy) with that curved line of sweat under their teet? yea its horrible so combat that with a clear gel.

under your arms is one of of the most critical areas ever. you need not make people think a biological attack is being launched when you lift your arm for a hug. this is an area where you can baby powder, lightly, and use ample amounts of deodorant. shaving also helps because i think hair helps to hold funk.

fat rolls are often forgotten. rub some  antiperspirant in the folds so that everyone can be ready for that jelly. it gets hot between the love handles and you dont want it to be sticky and make funky honey.

ladies don't act like you don't get a little moist ( and not in the good kind) between your legs on those hot summer days especially for those of us whose thighs touch. make sure you ventilate that box and keep a summers eve wipe or something like that handy.

its never cute to look a hot sweaty mess unless you are some sort of very sexy athlete.you cant stop the sweating but you can make it look better. stay dry my friends

im slightly offended but i cant stop laughing

.gif of nicki swinging her tracks

daily dose of ignorance

my fave female rapper (insert sarcastic tone) Lady is back with another single entitled Twerk. i post this not for the ass shaking that i do appreciate, but for the absolutely TURRIBLE makeup and hair

just stop giving niggas camera already!

man down code 10

bwahahahahahahahahaaaa

you mad?

octopus

men are not dogs they are octopi. they move like they have a million hands and shoot ink

who approved this?

so i  saw Just Wright today for the first time today and i just wanna know who decided this was a good idea? this movie is beyond turrible. like queen latifah in these matronly outfits with these white ass reeboks? she is gorgeous and dressing her like grandmas hand is a no go. to add insult to injury her weave wasnt even blended! its funny that brown sugar is on right now too because she looked much better in that movie. and why do they keep showing commons feet? that is a beautiful man who needs to be added to my list of possible baby daddies but his feet look like he ran from Mississippi to freedom barefoot. pam grier who the definition of a bad old bitty is only in here for like 43 seconds. i love that my grandma in my head phylicia rashad is in here though. paula patton...honestly im always underwhelmed by her acting abilities but she played the role of a beautiful gold digger well enough.the least realistic part though was her letting scott go with leslie. any

overall the story was pretty predictable and im not sure if it was supposed to be funny or not because it def wasn't. its better than tyler perry's coonery, but still isn't going to help gain any great strides for blacks in Hollywood.

daily dose of ignorance

it is my job to report and expose all forms of ridiculousness and this.............you black women smh im declaring myself brazilian

random cuteness

put some south in your mouth

i think that by now everyone knows that the most disrespectful possible music comes out of the southern region of this country. i think Florida and Louisiana are the worst but i could be wrong. the harshest is often the underground stuff you wont usually hear north of the mason dixon and never on the radio. this is just a sample of some of the fuckery that black scholars speak out against but we always manage to shake something to in the club.

• she rode dat dick like a soulja- dj ray ray. pretty much any new orleans bounce you find is gonna be ratchet as hell
• dont hide that pussy- dj unk
• anything by sissy nobby- its new orleans bounce at its finest. not really disrespectful but the dances that go with it would make a stripper blush
• violate that bitch- lil b yes i know hes from cali but this is def worthy of this list
• and they dykin- lil boosie (free boosie....naw nevermind keep him in jail he deserves it)
• hoochie mama- 2 live crew ok any and every 2 live crew song could be on this list. the fathers of miami bass sound. the original travis porter
• bust that pussy open- lil will
• dirty booty-t real
• homegurl- bone
• twerk dat ass-project pat
• work that monkey-kstylis
• slob on my knob- three six mafia
• tippin on my dick- go go power rangers. i think this is from cali but either way....you get the picture
• all plies songs

i know i missed A LOT of songs but there are just way too many

great moments in black history

on Wednesday, March 23, 2011 Popeyes all across the country offered a special just for that day. 8 pieces for $4.99  Colored folk everywhere rejoiced the lines were long and the fried deliciousness was plentiful. this is a day that will be remembered for many generations to come. this is what martin fought for, what malcolm died for. obama approved this. epic moments like this date back to harriet tubman. she fought for out freedom so that we could fill ourselves with grease and biscuits

my feelings about today

that is exactly how im feeling right now

news you need to know

on this day several years ago, too many to count....i lost my virginity


RIP to my hymen

special dedication

on this day 21 years ago the nigga seen above was born. shes a nigga in actions only because shes latino as hell like rice and beans all the time lmao. anyway thats my baby mama Jackeline Elizabeth Portocarrero and yes i put your government! anyway ive know her since my sophomore year of high school. the way we met is quite interesting.the first time we met was in math tutoring after school. i was standing there and she just came up to me and told me i was pretty. that automatically made her cool in my book.

the next interaction we had was def more umm i dont know interesting...awkward?  we had seen each other around because our high school was incredibly small and we had several mutual friends because the minorities pretty much all knew each other. so i was just standing at my locker minding my business and she just comes up to me and goes "umm yea so i just wanted to know if you and dwain were dating or in a relationship because yall are always together" i just looked at her because that was the boldest and most random thing anyone had ever done to me. turns out she liked him. me and dwain were just friends but part of me wonders what would have happened had i said yes? would she have tried to take my man?

so anyway the years continued on and because of a mutual friend, who ironically neither one of us still talks to, we became quite close. several years later that is one of the few people who i count as a real and true friend. she has always been there for me without question. we have an absolute love/hate relationship because we are both extremely outspoken and honest and i value that in a friendship. im not scared to tell her that her boyfriend aint shit and she will tell me with a quickness that im a ho. we talk to each other any kind of way #andthatsfine because it all comes from a place of love and great friendship. we can talk to each other about absolutely any and everything.

i def love her and her ass better love me. we talk literally everyday and whenever we're in chicago its days of shopping and retaurant hopping. its quite funny that her birthday is march 22nd and mine is april 22nd.

happy birthday boo hope you enjoy it te amo mucho!

put you up on game

if you have not had this amazingness in your life yet you are seriously lacking. it is like Jesus nutted in a container and labeled it ice cream. that is an empty carton because i demolished that with a quickness. it is only available at Target because its for like some charity thing. they have this and berry voluntary for some sort of partnership. so not only am i helping myself im also doing the world some good for once. its vanilla caramel ice cream with brownie and a caramel swirl. i could see myself like trading sexual favors for this stuff its that good. you may think im exaggerating but im not. this was all i had today and im totally satisfied.

OAN my nails have reached their limit. Tuesday im switching to the lace chic prints

ode to my wifey

*plays Prototype-Andre 3000*

this my dream woman esther baxter. the way halona feels about ludacris, qwynn about chris brown, jackie about idris elba...that is how i feel about her. i like LOVE her. she is dating fucking joe budden and i covered this before that im a hater over that situation. like i would build a monument to her and just admire her all day. idgaf if that sounds crazy but i love this bitch!

think about it

that scary love/never get married love/i got that fuck you and make you love me temporary love- Wale

Chris Brown "Skeet Cologne" (Does Trey Songz & R. Kelly Impersonation)

these are my confessions

so as per usual im spilling my guts out to you for no reason. i find that i often accuse people of not knowing me and they don't because i don't open up so here's a quick dose of Ashlee 101:

-if i were ever to drop to like 150 i would be a stripper. like seriously the idea of ppl throwing money at me while i shake my ass may seem basic as hell....because it is....but it feeds my ego so i would def do it. i pay $20 to go to the club and shake my ass so why not get paid to do it. if youve ever seen me drunk you know ive got some tricks and can make it give a round of applause. plus one of my biggest flaws is being incredibly materialistic and you need money to buy things

-i love pineapples like seriously unhealthy addiction i have several a day

-i love big curly natural hair and mine wont do that. if i ever go back to my real hair which is a serious probably not considering the fact that being sick and being on different meds has seriously changed its texture i would wear it curly and big

-this summer will be tats on tats on tats ive finally settled on which ones i want. what stops me is i can never make up my mind but now i know what  i want. im iffy on the ones i have now my only regret is i shouldve gotten them bigger but i was thinking i was gonna be a professional now that i know thats not gonna happen im going hard

-im often accused of being a makeup addict and im not. i make the joke that im not because i dont suck dick or steal to support the habit but i define a makeup addict as someone who buys it and wears it because they dont feel they are attractive and are not capable of accepting what they look like naturally. thats not me. me black coffee no sugar no cream is better than all the beat i put on. i wear it because i like it and im good at it. i like the compliments i get and i genuinely enjoy the artistry and the colors of makeup

-i want a breast augmentation.

-i really do get it from my mama

-im a nerd in every sense of the word. i write down stuff that i see during the day so that i can look it up later. this is everything from what started hollywood to the diet of an ocelot. i have the need to know any and everything

-i used to have an eating disorder and have gone between 160 and 280 lbs over the past 8 years. i had a relapse in like 2010 after a traumatic experience and went right back to the treatment facility. i hate that place and vow to never return there.

-i have the habit of putting others happiness ahead of my own. i do things to make others more happy and more comfortable regardless of if it puts me out or not i need to stop. i often end up in certain situations because i did something that wouldnt benefit me. my goal is to stop. at the end of the day im all i have and have to look out for numero uno

this needs a video

im not a fan of rihannas music generally but i loooove this song and wish she would make a video for it. i can only imagine what kind of sexy perversion she would act out. this is in my top 5 instantly gets me naked songs

and then i found out i was a jumpoff

ok so this is an old story like 7-8 months ago but ill tell it because i feel like it so anywhore.....i was talking to this girl and i was starting to like her. we hung out a lot and talked all the time. i wasn't thinking relationship because you know dating me is harder than finding help in the A building and i already knew she didn't meet the requirements. she was strictly and STD (something to do) either way i really liked her. so one day im at home and she text me about my day and we're chopping it up bloop bloop bloop and then she says i got my heart broken today. pause pump your break rewind and wipe the disk off. heart break say what? she proceeds to tell me how her girlfriend broke up with her that day. i wonder the fuck why! cheating, lying ass! im a good person so i didn't kick her while she was down and point out the obvious especially when she said her girlfriend didn't trust her. ma'am you are officially the last person to trust. i am in no way an advocate for cheating because its been done to me and it burns like hell so i would not be a party to if i knew. as bad as she was i would never have talked to her if i had known she had a serious girlfriend im no ones hooker whore homewrecker. she would ask me all these questions about should she get back with her and all this other stuff and im like what about me says im your personal dr phil? look at the things we were doing before you dropped this bombshell that's what im interested in. i later found out that she was messing around with quite a few girls. that i didn't care about because we weren't serious so any other females are none of my business but i couldn't get over the girlfriend. needless to say she still text me but they get unanswered.

my new obsession

im always trying new beauty products just for the hell of it and my new obsession is Sally Hansen Salon Effects

im debating if they're ghetto or creative but either way i love them. $10 and pretty long lasting. im gonna try these for awhile because im over plain polish for a little bit. getting a little jazzy for the warm weather

daily dose of ignorance

dead at hoodrat things with my friends. i weep for my people

for your consideration

this is a list of men whose semen i would house in my cervix for 9 months aka baby daddies. my children's father will not have any real responsibilities. i just want someone intelligent, musically inclined, educated, good looking, no history of mental illness in the family, no hereditary diseases....you know the usual stuff

Tank-hes very good looking and musically talented. my son would get so much play being a caramel colored version of him with my personality

Michael Ealy- good looking and talented actor plus i love his hair texture, mine wont do that

Hill Harper- attractive, Harvard educated, compassionate, intelligent, talented actor, author....like he actually my first choice but hes in his 40s already so i gotta get those swimmers now

Idris Elba- Ive never thought he was attractive but hes a great actor in addition to being a DJ and he has muscle tone which i don't so that's dope

Kanye West- an over the top personality with undeniable talent. a chicago bred asshole with incredible style and an ego that will we his downfall. he proved you dont need to finish school to make it

give me some more suggestions for who i need to stalk and steal i vial of their fresh squeezed man juices

sometimes

i wish i could get out of my own head for a little while. i have so much on my mind its ridiculous and i don't even know how to start sorting through it or how to handle the situations.dfujfjeihdejfkfbdsj yall i don't like it when im not in control of a situation because im a taurus my life is order and control anything else is not acceptable sdfghnfghjk the neverfuckingending story

i cannot wait

i cannot wait. like i loved the first one and i am beyond excitement to see what fuckery occurs now....wheres doug though? maybe that's the question that must be answered again

I NEED ADVICE

ok this rarely happens but i need some help and idk who to even call about this so ill just post this and maybe someone will have an answer. so ill keep this short what do you do when one of your friends offers you some pussy? like this girl is legit just my friend and we were talking and we got on the topic of sex. she just outta nowhere is like i want some head from you -_____- like wtf i never thought that she looked at me that way cuz i am not the type shes usually with. i was literally speechless and that's a rarity. all i could say was *craigs gf in Friday voice* what you gonna give me. shes like oh you can get whatever you want and some other stuff my christian fingertips wont let me write. like what am i supposed to do? i do not believe in friends with benefits because it gets messy but like i know for a fact she knows what shes doing but i dont want things to get weird. like we are just friends and then this? i don't even know if she likes me in that way or shes just horny. heelllppp

he who angers you controls you

Most of the time when someone hurts you, you have to forgive someone for yourself not for them. If you hold onto that anger it starts to consume and keep you from developing. I’m all about growth, I’m not the same person I was last year and won’t be who I am now come next year. Holding on to the past and things that people have done to you can prevent you from truly developing and reaching your highest potential to become the best you. This especially true when it comes to relationships don’t hold on to what someone else did to you and in turn making the next person pay for it. I was talking to my friend last night and she is just coming out of a really bad marriage. She was saying she doesn’t think she ever wants to get married again or have another girlfriend ever in life. (Rain by SWV…. get into it I miss groups like them, Total, 702, Xscape, TLC. Every album gave you life) I had to tell her not every girl is the same and you have to hold everyone accountable for their own actions. Just because one person treated you badly it doesn’t mean that’s what you deserve and that’s all you will find. Use it as a lesson on what you don’t want.

It takes time, but forgiveness is so necessary. You will gain an overwhelming sense of peace when you let go of negative emotions. No one is going to get everything right. Even when it comes to friends and parents you may like to think that your parents are adults and should know better, but they are human and flawed just like everyone else. Even past 40 they may still have a lot of growth and development. My mom tells me all the time that even at her age there is still so much she needs to work on. It hurts when they do things that make you feel like they don’t care about you, but maybe it’s something that they are battling that they have to overcome to have a positive relationship with you. It hurts to let people go especially the ones that you believe there should be a certain type of relationship with such as family, but if a person hinders more than they help you just say “I love you and I release you”

Sometimes you can repair the damage from a relationship and work things out with that person. Both parties have to be ready and forgiveness is the first step. When you hold on to anger and the past it’s like a boat staying chained to the dock. It’s floating and complacent and will never know the depths of the sea.

pay foreplay

So this discussion/debate came up: who should pay on dates? Someone didn’t believe me when I told them I have never paid for a date. My friend confirmed my statement in that she has never paid for a date either. We aren’t against it, but it comes at a certain point. I’m old fashioned and if we are still in the dating phase you need to be paying. Yall chicks can throw around all that I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T shit around all you want to, but it’s the principle of the matter. A lady should not have to pay unless yall are in a relationship. At that point it doesn’t matter who pays, but in the courting stage the man should pay. Honestly I don’t know any men who would go out with a female and expect her to pay in the first place. My male cousins have told me the only girls they let pay are the ones that they wanna run the smash and dash on. If they really like a girl she gets the three star treatment then when they are official she gets the five star. Maybe its just the guys I know because ive also talked to some girls who are like they pay for dates all the time. I’m not against it just not from jump. Some guys get offended when you offer to pay. No feminist morals over here I’m like church gotta give 10% to get through these pearly gates.

“Ashlee you go on dates with girls how does that work?” I date studs/doms whatever you wanna call them and they pay. Most of them are of the belief I wear the pants so im gonna take the lead on this. They consider themselves to be gentlemen and are better at acting like one than most real men. I’m not opposed to this at all. Treat a woman like a lady and she’ll act like one. Only time I have paid for anything with a stud was when we had gone on a few dates and I was like ok she’s stunted a bit now and proved worthy so I can reach down and uses my coins and dollars on her. This is pretty typical. That usher song Trading Places applies to us too. The few times I have gone out with femmes they paid because it then turns to the “who asked who” rule. Whoever initiated the date pays. If I asked a girl out which I probably never will because well I just don’t care that much I would pay and have no problem with it….but I get to feel a butt cheek.

This might sound old fashioned to some people, but I have talked to enough people to know it’s just not me. Everyone is different though and of course whatever works for you.

more random thoughts

-who’s louder Hispanics or Nigerians? I have never heard a Spanish speaking person not be loud as hell. Like it’s impossible for them to whisper and not just one group all of them when speaking their native tongue are on ten. Every morning on the train a gang gets on and are just loud! Nigerians are not only loud but incredibly aggressive. They say good morning with hella bass and it’s like a threat. You better say it back or something bad is gonna happen. I even heard this from an African she’s Kenyan, but she was telling me there is a big difference between east and west Africans. Nigerians are angry for no reason while Ethiopians are calm and cool. The funniest thing ever was when I was in this wing place by my house and this Nigerian dude comes in yelling on his phone at someone for moving the car and he jumps in front of this girl in line. She calmly says, “Sorry sir but I was ahead of you” he turns around and start yelling, “I AM HERE TO GET MY FOOD YOU WILL WAIT I AM HERE AND I WANT MY ORDER” Me and my mom were dying laughing because the lady all of sudden kirked on him and got back in front of him and he starts yelling in Ibo and it was just a great scene.

-will somebody get Chris Brown’s dick a protein shake or something. I saw that pic and didn’t know what I was supposed to be looking for. I was drawn to the tats first because that’s what I look at on anyone and then I was like oh hey skinny penis. Im not an expert or experienced dick surveyor by any means, even though me and Jackie are making a book from the small gallery we have, but that just didn’t look right.

-don’t call my family of you are freaking out about something because we aren’t gonna understand what the big deal is. We are very laid back almost to a fault. My aunt just found out she has cancer and she’s just like oh just take both my breasts Jesus (ok so is it breast or breasts? I’ve been wondering this for awhile…English majors help me out I love them but I can’t spell them so ill just stick to boobs, titties, jugs, titty balls, etc but boobie cancer sounds mad immature) so anyway she’s freaking out and my mom was like “its fucking stage one non threatening if you don’t just start some treatment and sit your ass down somewhere.” Ice water in the veins is a common trait among us.

-chicks with natural hair and Africa medallions have the fattest asses. You know those Erykah Badu brauds that smell like incense and veggie burgers who wear head wraps and wooden jewelry. Ass looking like we could ride that shit to the Motherland, and they’re real not like those model chicks who get ass shots

-Jazmine Sullivan makes the most depressing music. I call it For Colored Girls R&B

-DC weather is so skit and 90% of the time it sucks. Hot, raining, or hot rain

-are you bi-wining

-I love the smell of hot cocoa

-why do girls on the east coast still wear how stella got her groove back or poetic justice braids?

-hoes love dimples

lets go inside my head for a minute

- i need to stop being such a flirt. its been getting in some bad position because people take it the wrong way.i can flirt even if i dont like you idk why its just always been like this and its starting to backfire

-who told kim kardashian she could sing? that song is pure garbage!

-some people should refrain from talking let alone existing

-the type of girl im attracted to is starting to change. idk why maybe its cuz i dated that type for a little while and it was pretty dope. hell its still dope even though i always keep my fave type around just because. and like also ive been having fun last year was serious relationship this year has been fun.

-*to the beat of "you dont know me" by the kang TIP: you might follow me on twitter but shawty you dont know me...you mighta read my blog but shawty you dont know me...dont be an asshole keep it moving shawty you dont know me! never assume you know shit about me or my experiences. my layers are hundred fold

-i really love the little monsters i work with they warm my heart. cant wait until i have my own classroom

-like i expect certain things from some people depending on the relationship if i dont get what i want then you dont get what you want #kanyeshrug

-despite the stress of classes senior year has been pretty dope

-i had a flashback to MLK weekend smh...never again baby jesus

-shoutout to my hands and arms for shaking uncontrollably right now. let me take my ass home

-im still debating posted that video i made about the bad sexual experience. its still funny as hell. im actually supposed to see the girl  this weekend but i guarantee you there will not be a repeat!

because i can

love love love listen to it everyday but where the hell was i when they were filming this? thats def rm 322 and all school of b students have had class in there

since you ask me about makeup so much

there is nothing i love more in this world than make up. i spend a ridiculous amount on a variety of beauty products. one of my favorite is red lipstick. i have 509283 different shades of red. so a lot of ppl say that they feel that they cant wear red lipstick...yes you can you just have to determine if you need a  warm or cool tone shade. cooler shades have more blues in them and look better on ppl who can wear silver jewelery. warm tones are for those who look better in gold jewelry and have more oranges in them. the wrist test is your best bet. take the lipstick and rub and dab a bit on the inside of your wrist. now go out there and be a hooker in all the wines, plums, orange-reds, reddish pinks and million other shades you can find

dammit i ended up youtube again

Youtube is of the devil. like you can waste hours watching the most random stuff on there. like there is literally everything on there. i have watched a live birth and a quickweave being done (not at the same time obviously) but how many times have you been doing work but ended up watching the craziest stuff on there. like there is some worthwhile stuff like spanish lessons and if you ever needed to learn how to change a tire.....but  i like foolishness. here are some of my fave videos

so how much time of your life did you just spend watching these when you could have been productive? and just think these are like 6 of a million something videos smh p.s. that last video is of my crushes they are the reason im moving to dallas. they live in atl now but if they make them like that down there chile