dont laugh at me

so i have sometime before i go to work today so i was perusing my usual blog sites and they featured a lot of pics from the hot 97 summer jam. this was one of the times that i wished i lived on the east coast because some of my faves were there. anyway this lead me to the question who would i rather sleep with Rick Ross or Chris Brown? stop giving me that crazy side eye! i know you prob think is a no brainer but hear me out.


ok so yes they are complete and utter opposites, but they both hold qualities that i think would make them good lovers.

1. facial hair- in my opinion a man should have facial hair. chris is seriously lacking in this department
winner: ross

2. performance- no one like a lazy lover. chris has proven that he will dance in the pussy and he claims he invented head. you cant ignore these facts.especially when you know how i feel about the introduction. ross seems like he might be kinda lazy and expect the woman to do all the work. he has never come across as a master of seduction.
winner: breezy

3.body- i love tattoos and this is a non negotiable for me. if you take off your shirt and the skin is bare im getting up and putting my clothes on. neither have back and chest hair so im really stuck here because im disgusted by body hair like absolutely icksville.since ive slept with guys with muscles and fat guys and both were great so i really don't know. and ive seen breezys dick, but not rozays and it was extra lackluster, but hes quite fit.
winner: tie

4. music- i LIVE for rick ross records, but im only a chris brown fan in passing
winner:rozay

5.sounds- the sounds made during coitus are so important to me and i feel like ross would be going ungh the whole time and i would be laughing and chris' voice is so sweet and melodic and would whisper like sexy shit to me
winner: breezy

6. financials- ross said it best "money make me cum" i already blogged about community service pussy and while both are pretty well off ross is more flashy and i like stuff like that. i love how his chains glisten between his man boobage. he admits that he treats women and i would like to be wined and dined and possibly shop before i have my box demolished. breezy is not lacking in funds but i feel like hes not going to pay for the tracks he pulled out when he was playing in your hair
winner: ross

7. pillow talk- i like my sandwich and sleep after sex but sometimes niggas wanna talk and shit so you have to suffer through that. i feel like chris would be a lot more interesting to talk to and more lucid. ross would just spark up and then go to sleep.
winner: breezy

8.smell- chris smells light skin. ross smells like  money, fried chicken, and kush
winner: rozay

9.the crew- you may have to be around his friends at some point. chris hangs out with them cat daddy niggas. ricky hangs out with my son's father wale....
winner- ross the boss

10. respect- i feel like chris might bring you breakfast the next morning. ricky might just hand you a stack and say get out. im still a lady despite what i did the night before and would like to be treated as such. just dont hit me chris....but i do like that rough shit
winner: mechanical dummy

well im guessing the winner is rick ross.....as long as he keeps the shades on