Cheating 101

ok so lately my girl has been accusing me of cheating and yea i have been but she did not follow the proper protocol for discovery so therefore charges must be dropped. taking it to be blaw on that ass i had my full defense ready. so the main guideline for cheating is that its not what you think its what you can prove. she thinks ive been cheating but without any evidence it stands strickly as speculation. so due to this fact i have come up with some guidelines for stepping out on your significant other. i am in no way supporting cheating cuz i hate to have it done to me if im in love and when i really care about someone i would never think of stepping put on them but me and her have a lot of issues and its not like a serious relationship

1. i dont text my side chicks about too much i call them. you may say oh no youre giving side chicks too much shine. but thats why yall stay getting caught up. this goes back to the evidence factor. if my girl ever goes through my phone which she frequently tries to do she could never question me about a text. i may say whats up to them but anything regarding any sexual activities must be discussed on the phone. also for my blackberry users crunch sms and bbm are your best friend. if you do discuss anything in text when you are done you can delete or end the conversation and everything that was discussed is lost forever. alway end convos with side pieces once the rendez vous has been set. and also any dirty pix i recieve are hidden in a special folder that no one can ever see but i can refer to from time to time

2. twitter and facebook are of the devil. never ever ever ever ever friend your jumpoffs on social networks. they may get outta pocket and write something on your wall or dm you and then your partner sees it and brings up some mess. trust and believe they will raise hell over anything they may see so just dont fuel their fire

3. spacing between sexual encounters is key. men swear they can feel a difference in your ya ya so if you are smanging more than one dude at a time give yourself a few days to get ms sally back in proper order. kegel exercises are key. smells too. if you are messing with someone who wears a destinctive frangrance make sure you shower and remove clothes. ppl who mess with me get caught up with my makeup being on their shirt or my lipstick on their skin because i wear so much its bound to rub off at some point so basically make sure you have time to change and shower before your boo has to to wonder why you smell like creed when he wears armani or why there are red lip prints where there should not be

4. old school trick that still works is switching up names in the phone. in the event that they call or text why you are with your main and they pick up your phone it needs to say Chris from Algebra or Brandy from Blaw this way you can say its a school related matter or always switching the gender of the name can save stress so he cant say why is some nigga calling you at 2am when you can just say its a homegirl initials also work pretty well. also memorizing the number so that you never have to save it or deleting every call as they are made is also a good trick that helps to avoid the confrontation

5. dont act suspicious! that will always makes you look bad if they ask to see your phone let them. by not letting them that makes it seem like you have something to hide which leads to even more problems adn fights....i want the password to the phone marcus give me the password to the phone... you can easily avoid that if you follow the other rules ive provided.

6. email is an entremely underrated form of communication. because most ppl our age dont really pay attention to their emails too much that makes it a good method of communication for jumpoffs

7. if you take your side joint out it is better to have a separate credit card or bank account that you use for dates or cash only transactions. if you and your significant other are at the point where they know your banking info like that they willl notice things like large amounts of money missing. also receipts. i have caught someone cheating on me off a receipt because the date and time corresponded to a totally different story than what they told me.

8. dont tell all your business to everyone. not all your friends need to know if your are two timing esp if they have a big mouth or friends in common with your boo. just tell one or at the most two friends who can act as an alibi or run interferece for you if necessary. this is when you find out who you can really trust not to be the big mouth and tell your man because they want him for themselves. oh chicks are scandalous

9. dont meet up at the same time and place all the time. give your encounters some variety as not to arouse suspision

10. pray you dont get caught because whats done in the dark always come to the light and youre gonna have to pay the piper