size what?! girl.........

so recently i went shopping because well thats what i like to do. so i asked the salesman (ok i have a problem with this. a man was working in a well know plus size clothing store. i guess its kinda hypocritical because ive worked in mens clothing forever but i just feel some kinda way about it anywhore) if they had the pants that i was looking for. he took me over to them and said oh youre what a size 14? pause pump ya brakes rewind try again. i havent been a size 14 in forever. when i told him what size i really was he was all like umm no youre not theres no way in hell. nigga stop trying to flatter me cuz im not interested in your smooth caramel skin and smooth baritone (but if yall are i did take a pic cuz he was hella fine). he hands me a size that is in between the14 and the size i felt i was wearing. ok when i tried them on they fit. he was all like see i told you i guess you like wearing your stuff baggy. the theme of my life has always been keep ya thoughts and ya feelings shawty you dont know me. i like everything tight but i know that i have hidden thickness. when i take off my pants there is a little more lurking than what meets the eye. and ok my jeans have been falling off me lately but i just took it as they were getting a little stretched out but not that i was getting any smaller. but anyway the point of this is that its funny to me the major difference between the way we see ourselves and the way others see us. this boy called me thick i was like no im fat. im the least self deprecating person there is because at the end of the day im comfortable in my skin but im honest with myself. the constraints on size must have changed because people are constantly like youre not that big but i feel like i look like i belong on a TLC special in a bed covered by a sheet with a platter of ding dongs on my stomach. a lot of girls ive been seeing a lot of girls billing themselves as thick when im like pause did the definition change? but i guess self perception and the way the world sees you will always be different. i learned the technical terms for this but my mind is so far from school right now. maybe some people are being nice when they call someone thick instead of fat. also some of my skinny friends have it stuck in their minds that they are thick when in actuality they can use one of my bracelets as an accent belt. maybe i feel this way because i have PMS and i feel like the twitter whale and my mom has been on this super diet and lost a lot of weight and makes it a point to tell me how much shes lost but whatever maybe im not that big because i can fit all the new clothes shes been buying. but whatever i mean feel however you want to about your body but dont lie to people or yourself.