presex conversations

so with it being winter break and all everyone seems to be making their cold weather hook ups you may be embarking on a booty call you may have never experienced before and somehow my ipod got put on my get it in playlist and so this led me to think of the presex conversation or a few questions you may wanna ask any new partner

1. have you heard of the introduction? before you introduce any penis, strap on, popsicle,  finger, candy cane, nutter butter whatever to my vagina you must first introduce your face

2. how regularly do you get tested cuz i dont care if your condoms are made of the leather from Jesus' sandals i care too much about my health to play russian roulette

3. whats your favorite position? this must be addressed because i dont want you trying to fold me into some crab walk shit when i just wanna be on top we need to have a gameplan beforehand so that there is no unwanted manuvering

4. do you turn the brown eye blue? depending on what your partner is in to this might be a surprise

5. lights on or off because we dont wanna have a beyonce moment: lights! somebody getting fired hey hey

6. have you seen the raheem devaughn video for single? im just saying take notes it will help

7. for me this is a big one do you engage in the waxing ministry? i dont like hair in my food and refuse to choke on a stray curly pube. please dont shave because it feels like weird braille coochie and that scares me men you too itll make your junk look bigger if you manscape a little

8.do you expect me to return the favor? not everyone like to go downtown and some people love to do it. we've already decided that you have to do it to me but do you want me to do it too?

9. i dont encounter this but a lot of my friends have told me this  bothers them...are you cut or uncut apparently if your banana still has the peel they aint goin

10. whats your diet like because oh its in your fluids and if we do decide that im going down i would like to know if im about to taste passion fruit or burger king. personally i hate body fluids so im gonna be icked out either way but trust me sweet is better than salty.

there are so many things that can be discussed but these were the first 10 that came to my mind have fun